Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Where Do I FIT In?

First off, I have to say that Davis and I are back from Tulsa! Yesterday was THE LONGEST I have ever driven, not only by myself, but with a baby. I will be waiting for my award in the mail. Thanks.

So while in Tulsa, I decided to attempt to try and find a new pair of shorts. *Note: Flo was visiting and I was so super hormonal. This does not help when trying to shop. Especially for shorts. I should have just tried on bed sheets.* It was a cranky day in the hotel and Davis decided he just wasn't going to sleep. This put us at not going to the aquarium that day. Good times. I was already at my wits end and looking for a number so that I could call in sick. Oh, wait! Silly me. At that moment when steam was flying out of my ears, a shining halo appeared over Michael's head as he told me to go shopping. Gasp! I'm outta here suckers! If only it were that simple.

The same stores I used to shop in just aren't the same anymore. I'm old. I'm an old lady now. And I need to wear ear plugs in some of these stores. Seriously, do I sound like my mother or what? How did I used to like this?!? So I go into my usual stores to try and find shorts. Have you ever noticed that what you are looking for, you can't ever find at the time, but find 100,000 other things you would absolutely love! I could have bought so many cute and adorable summer dresses, but that was not why I went. Uggg! So I am at Dillard's. No go. NY & Co I always have the best luck in. But as of right this second, this very moment, I am not loving the 'boyfriend shorts' and the Bermuda shorts (again?!?) The shorts down to the knees look that are tight bring me back to my New Kids On The Block days when I cut my jeans to make shorts. Neon scrunchy, anyone? The cargo shorts that are that length make me feel like I should be stuffing them with granola bars or something. Personal shopper needed, please!

So, I keep on trucking. I am bloated. Shorts are a bad idea. I can do this!! I go to stores like Charlotte Russe and find some cute shorts that are of course a price I can afford. Oh praise Jesus, they fit!! No, wait. My freaking ass is hanging out practically. This screams beyond inappropriate mom clothes. Being the brilliant person that I am, I decide to try on a swim suit instead. I am smart like that. Still at Charlotte Russe, they had some really cute ones that were on sale. A few years ago, I probably would have worn one of these suits, but hell to the no not today. Who can fit into these bottoms? I swear, only a teenager with the body of a 12 year old boy that is as straight as an arrow. The bottoms only cover one inch....um..but the pattern is cute!

I am walking around the mall having a total pity party for myself. I was oh so tired and just flat out exhausted. When did I get old? Why won't Davis stop crying today? Why is my life so awful? (haha, just kidding!) Then I felt it. Oh my Lord, I am starting to tear up. At the mall. Thankfully I didn't start crying. I decide to suck it up and try one more store. I go to Macy's where I can always find something. I got my last pair of shorts there so surely they will have something for me. Something that fits, style I like, and my butt isn't hanging out. *I still have a butt-thigh, but it's a little different post baby. You know what I'm sayin!*

I get back to the hotel, not only empty handed, but crying now. Man, don't you just love hormones!? Aren't they just a ball of fire fun!? Seriously, doesn't anyone besides me have this problem? You want to shop, but where to go? Certain departments you can fit, but it's too young. Other departments are way too big. Today I am going to defeat those shorts. I will find you and hunt you down.

If only everyday could be a toga party!


**What is a butt-thigh? Your butt is flat is blends into your thigh!

LittleYayas

14 comments:

Ashley said...

Good luck today! I have so been there! I teared up on the way home from shopping for bridesmaid dresses post-baby. I also just had that realization not long ago.. OMG, I have to shop in the WOMEN'S dept! I'm sure there's stuff out there.. we just have to find it!

(Thanks for being so honest! :))

Diane said...

Sounds like one of my shopping for clothes trips, only I hit the realization that, "OMG, I'm old!" quite awhile back since I will be the big 4-0 next year! :0

Katie's Dailies said...

It stinks being petite, 44 and having to shop in the juniors department. Everything in that little, loud, overly bright square of a section screams Britney Spears and Hootchie Mama. Sometimes I yearn for the pioneer days when every girl wore lose, comfortable dresses....

Good luck with the shorts shopping!

Kimberly said...

lol This post made me laugh. I love you were looking for a number to call out!! I have teared up many times in a dressing room! I seem to be having luck in my 40's at Ann Taylor! I never by in the store but at the outlet store.

Shell said...

I get so frustrated, trying to find clothes.

I've been living in flowy sundresses. They make me feel better.

Kristen said...

I too have recently had this realization...like why does my stroller not fit through the aisles at Forever 21...isn't it suppose to be FOREVER 21? I also have found that some of the dresses that I would've worn before just won't work when I have to bend over to pick up the MILLIONTH thing that Caroline has tossed out of her stroller. It's terrible I've found that I can really no longer get away with my cheap finds anymore...it's Any Taylor, J Crew etc. now BUT Target is still good. Try there...good luck defeating the evil nemesis that are shorts!

sara said...

You have to at least give yourself credit for having the sense, despite the hormones, to NOT buy the inappropriate, ass hanging out shorts. Gold star for you!

Robyn{Lee} said...

I agree with Shell... Flowy sun dresses, all the time : ) But no, you are NOT alone in this. *HUGS*!!!!

Paula@One Mom's Corner of the World said...

Hi! I'm visiting from Follow Me Back Tuesday. I signed up to be a new follower.

Tammy said...

I have been in your place so many times. I can never find what I want when I need it but when I don't need it I find a ton! Murphy's law I guess! (haven't said that in years)...lol. Thanks for popping over from Shells...she is a doll! I have been one of your followers since your SITS day I believe! I hope you enjoy what you saw. :) Lots going on at my blog the next two weeks so keep checking back! :)

What's in a name.. said...

Lovely post and I love your header.Following you via FMBT. Pls follow me back @ http://masalabowl.blogspot.com/

Baby Boberg & Parents said...

I've been there. Only for me its my boobs that were virtually nonexistent until I got preggers and decided to breastfeed. The idea of going through what you went through is so unappealing I've been wearing my maternity tops for the past 6mths.
BTW, I'm your newest follower from Follow Me Back Tuesday!

Barely Domestic Mama said...

I have the dreaded butt thigh as well. I'm not sure how that happens being Puerto Rican, but whatever. Stupid J-Lo set up an unrealistic expectation.

I haven't worn shorts since before I had my son. I loathe shopping for shorts. I tried to explain to my hubby that I lost all the baby weight, but my body itself changed and things that I wore before at my pre-pregnancy weight just don't fit the same.

*LLUVIA* said...

I only wear long shorts.
I'm fat, but I still wear a swimming suit. :P

I love to wear dresses, so I shop a lot at those. Right now, I'm Lane Bryant customer, but working on not being that anymore.

I really don't sweat clothing. I have no fashion sense nor care for it, but I do UNDERSTAND them hormones very well!!!